Redefine What Defines You

Y’all, this was my biggest ah-hah of 2020. I’ve been goal setting and creating vision boards for years. And it was just recently that a lightbulb went off.   

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I’ve been looking at what I’m working to achieve all wrong. I’ve been making the car, the financial independence, the physically fit physique be my goals. Those are the things on my vision board. BUT WAIT!

Are these really my goals OR are they blessings I hope to have along the way? See this is what I woke up to. We can’t let things that can be taken in the blink of an eye define us.

Let me see if I can explain this better. I can’t let the image of a fit body be my goal or my vision. Because at any moment I could be struck with an illness or have a terrible car wreck that could take that all away from me in the blink of an eye. Completely out of my control. And if I defined myself or my success on that, I would immediately lose my self-identity. Instead of letting the ideal body be my goal I need to dig deeper. I want to fuel my body and move it so that it is the strongest, healthiest it can be. The fit body image in my head is just a blessing I hope to get along the journey to health. BUT that body image is not a guarantee. That body image can come but, it can also be taken away. However, no matter my situation I can always strive to be the strongest, healthiest version of me possible. And I can always be grateful for the me that I am right now. I may not be as fit as I want but today I can walk, I can see, I can hug those that I love. Those are blessings I have today that I can be grateful for. 

Let’s take another example. I can’t let a certain amount of money be my goal. I think many of us learned this year that a job or thriving business can be shut down in an instant, entirely out of your control. All the income goals you had set can go from being on target to completely stopped, not a penny coming in, overnight. Now, if you defined yourself on that dollar amount you would feel like a failure. Instead, we need to set our goals deeper. Maybe we want to create products that people love and enjoy. Maybe we want to create a business that is adaptive to every curveball that comes its way. What are the deeper goals that leave room for grace? Room for changes that could happen out of our control. Goals that we can still strive for even if the blessing we had hoped for changes. 

And with those deeper goals with room for grace, we also need to start thinking of the blessings differently. A blessing is something we would like to have but, that is not guaranteed. No matter how hard we work toward it, it may not be in our deck of cards to have it. And we have to be ok with that. BUT, if we do get a blessing we have to hold it with an open hand. We have to recognize that it is a blessing and it can leave our life as quickly as it came in. The key is just to be grateful for it each day you have it. And if it leaves your life not be resentful or angry but instead, grateful for the time you had it. We also need to acknowledge and be grateful for the blessings we have right now. No matter how big or small they are. You might be shocked at how much you have to be thankful for, even if your current situation isn’t what you had hoped for.

Guys we have to redefine what defines us. We have to recognize what’s in our control and what isn’t.  And we need to make that distinction now. We cannot go another year making goals and visions that are out of our control. We need to build ourselves a firmer foundation that can withstand anything that 2021 may hold. That way we can have a successful year no matter what blessings come or go.